Congrats! Now you have a little bundle of joy at home but along with the joy comes the reality of sleepless nights, endless diaper changes, continuous feeding and everything else. Whilst, it is definitely hard but slowly the parents accept the changes in their life. And fulfilling all the new responsibilities associated with having a new member of the family leave little to no time for parents which they can spend together as a couple. Going from having all the time to themselves to no time to themselves is emotionally taxing for parents and resentment might breed taking its toll on the relationship. BUTTT accepting your role as a parent doesn’t mean you should forget your role as a spouse. There are still ways to have some couple time which is very much needed for a happy relationship. Aaand, this will help you in being a better parent as well.
1. Have a Collective Activity
Having a collective activity helps in bonding and spending time together. It can be watching a show on Netflix, baking, cooking or doing some DIYs. Basically, any activity that you both enjoy doing. Having a hobby which has the interest of both spouses not only lets you have collective time but also it allows for problem solving, discussions and critical thinking as a couple which helps you becoming more attuned to your spouse’s needs and way of thinking.
2. Have Dates
It is hard to find time to go on a date when you become parents but try to find time once a week or a month or whatever frequency suits you to have a date as a couple. Rekindle the spark of romance and talk about only you two when you’re out on a date. Share your heart’s feelings. Have a look back at the honeymoon you had or any of the fondest memories you have as a couple.
3. Let Trusted Family Members/Friends Babysit for You
Unless your kids are grown and can stay at home and fend for themselves, it is very hard to find couple time or me time. Since babies and toddlers can never be left alone, they need to be watched and looked after 24/7. This is where your trusted people come in. Request your trusted family or friends (ONLY 100% TRUSTED) to babysit your child/children while you can have a date with your spouse. You can also pay a trusted babysitter to do the childcare. But be very very vigilant on whom you trust as your child carer.
4. Sneak in Hugs and Kisses Wherever Possible
Specially if you have small children who cannot be left alone, it is SUPER HARD to have solace where you can cuddle or talk. So, make with what you have. You can only have little pockets of times where you can focus on your spouse. For example, you’ve woken up and the baby is asleep. Use that time for cuddling. You are cooking something in the kitchen and your spouse comes in too grab a glass of water. Have a kiss. Compliment your spouse here and there.
While doing these little things maybe hard because when you are a parent your mind is all occupied with the needs and wants of the little monster you have, it should be remembered that you cannot give from an empty cup. These little actions throughout the day will not only de-stress you and your spouse but also let you keep each other at the top of the list.
5. Spend Some Time Together After Children are Asleep
As soon as children go to bed, instead of getting hooked to your phone, make it your mini date. Watch a movie, have a snack or just talk. This time after the exhaustion of the whole day of changing diapers and wiping noses will let you relax.